My response to Dan Boren's letter

(This is my response to his response, unfortunately I do not have my first letter to Representative Boren.)

Dear Representative Boren,

Thank you for the response. I would like to take a minute to address some of your comments and conclusions. You are completely correct that we have ramped up our energy usage dramatically in the past 30 years. You are also correct that a "Cap and Trade" program would drive up the costs of traditional fuels which would make " green energy sources, whose cost have always been higher, more competitive in the marketplace." However, you omit or ignore two factors. First, the reason that traditional fuels are cheaper is because there are costs of these fuels do not contain the pollution and environmental damage that results from acquisition and use of these traditional fuels. Cap and Trade would make the market more honest and respect the costs that are not associated with basic production. Second, the green energy sources are more expensive because they are so small and limited. If they could compete on an even playing field with other fuels then there would be innovation and expansion that would drive green energy pricing down while providing a more honest price for traditional fuels.

The Cap and Trade bill is not merely an environmental bill will improve our national security position by reducing our dependence on foreign energy sources as well as insulating us against demand generated, production generated, or conflict generated price spikes. Japan weathered the energy price increases of 2007-2008 more successfully than our country because they have a much more effective efficiency program combined with their focus on renewables.

The same comments about job loss were made when we had the effective Cap and Trade program for SO2 which was an incredibly successful program to reduce SO2 emissions and acid rain. A few years ago Texas Instruments had the opportunity to build a new wafer plant in China or Singapore. Instead they built it in Richardson Texas, using green tools to reduce the energy usage during building and the energy footprint of the building. More thought in the building, planning and design work resulted in a construction cost of 30% less per square foot than the previous building with expectations of 20% less in energy usage and 35% less in water usage. So even if cap and trade increased costs 6% there would still be a net savings of 16%. On a side note, I would personally prefer the computer chip jobs to the concrete plant jobs for our cities and towns.

Companies can only charge what the market will allow; they cannot raise prices just because their costs increase or they will price their product out of the market. While there might possibly be a few companies that are at risk of movement (though I haven’t seen any research to support this claim) most companies are not as portable as you assume. For example, utilities cannot move to China to produce electricity for our local communities.

Furthermore, we are losing jobs right now because American companies who are in the green technology business are moving overseas to be closer to the businesses and governments which buy their products. Energy efficiency and renewables are the future of industrial innovation. How are we going to provide these jobs, produce these jobs or develop the technology if we have no experience in green technology?

Yes it will increase the cost of energy in Oklahoma. That is primarily our fault for allowing our environmental standards to be so lax for so long. We allow pollution, coal plants cover the state, and artificially low energy prices - prices that defer the costs to the environment and the health of its citizens. I see the coal trains often and coal generated pollution from the OG&E plant every day on my way to and from work. It seems that every month more friends and acquaintances are developing asthma. Isn't improvement in this area this really worth the few dollars more per month - $175 per year based on the CBO estimates?

You mentioned a windfall in California. California has been concerned about pollution since the 1970's and have very strict environmental policies, if that long term vision results in a rewards, well, I would call that a return on investment the resulted in their economy growing much faster than that of Oklahoma.

On a personal note, I also know that we recently reinsulated our home and replaced our furnace and air conditioner. Since making these changes in January we have seen between 30 and 40% reduction in KWH. Imagine what would happen if people had even more encouragement to address their efficiency. If we combined this with smarter grids and tools so that energy companies could profit as much by encouraging efficiency as selling more power we could be leaders not followers.

You also mentioned concern about the limited overall impact of the Cap and Trade provisions. You are correct that China and India will not be party to this law. However, I am somewhat disturbed that you would compare us so easily to these countries and define what we should or should not do not by whether it is the right thing to do, but whether or not other countries are doing it as well. That is akin to saying you cannot make certain every child gets a healthy breakfast so why even try to provide any children as possible with a healthy breakfast. Or on a governmental level, since Arkansas isn't working to improve water quality why should we try to improve water quality - the water won't be perfectly clean.

This point also ignores the fact that development of cleaner and more efficient technologies will allow us to sell these products to China and India on a massive scale. China is already buying the new more efficient GE diesel locomotives (as is Brazil and Mexico) because they are so much cheaper to operate over the long term - not because they are the cheapest thing to purchase. China has a horrible pollution problem already, imagine if we could sell them truly efficient carbon scrubbers, software and hardware that would improve electrical efficiency, better solar power tools, and the list goes on and on. We need Cap and Trade to stimulate these industries and encourage more investment. This is about pricing fossil fuels accurately based on the environmental impact, and not encouraging wasteful energy policies based on artificially low traditional fuel pricing which ignores the long term impact of productions and use.

Respectfully Yours,

Darren Magady

Letter from Dan Boren

Recently I wrote Dan Boren (the Representitive to Congress for this district) a letter expressing my disappointment that he did not have the foresight and courage to support the Cap and Trade Bill. Yes it is a flawed bill, as all are, but it will be a big step in the right direction.

This is his response to my letter.

Dear Mr. Magady:

Thank you for contacting me about H.R. 2454, the American Clean Energy & Security Act, commonly referred to as the "Cap and Trade" bill, which includes an attempt to address the issue of climate change by creating a market to control carbon emissions. I always appreciate the opportunity to hear from concerned Oklahomans, and welcome the opportunity to share with you my views on the issue.

H.R. 2454 is designed to limit greenhouse gases produced within the United States by capping the level of carbon and other gases emitted by companies, and by initially issuing and eventually selling pollution "allowances" for those levels that extend beyond the cap. Over a twenty year period, the cap would continually grow more and more restrictive, driving up the costs of using traditional carbon-emitting fuels and making green energy sources, whose cost have always been higher, more competitive in the marketplace.

While I strongly support initiatives to develop alternative energy and incorporate them into our national energy portfolio, I have consistently argued that we must also balance our economic and national security priorities with our environmental priorities. Over the past three decades, U.S. Energy demands have increased dramatically, making us increasingly dependent on foreign energy sources. The most relevant energy challenge facing our nation is escalating demand coupled with finite domestic sources. It is critical that a national energy policy reflect a balanced mix of domestic production of reliable energy resources, including natural gas, development of domestic renewable energy sources, improvements in our infrastructure and a commitment to conservation.

In contrast, the climate bill in question poses a grave threat to the US economy by driving American jobs into other countries. As caps on emissions grow more restrictive, so will the cost of domestic production. The legislation assumes companies will seek other forms of energy, but historically companies faced with driving costs imposed by the government naturally seek cheaper places to operate business, leading to the outsourcing of jobs and industry to countries with less exacting standards. Additionally, the bill would directly send billions of tax dollars overseas in the form of "international emission offsets," in order to subsidize similar environmental measures that foreign governments themselves refuse to shoulder.

On its most basic level a cap and trade system will increase the cost of doing business and increase the price of energy for Oklahomans. Businesses and local utilities will be forced to pass the burden of fees onto consumers in order to stay afloat, at a time when the average American is already under intense economic strain. The disproportionate cost burden created by the unfair distribution of emission allowances will be most severe for states like Oklahoma, where commissions and utilities have worked hard to keep electricity rates low. Oklahomans will likely see double-digit percentage increases on their utility bills, while states like California will receive windfall benefits.

These economically burdensome measures have no guarantee of any significant benefit to the global environment. Europe implemented a similar cap and trade program years ago, with questionable effects. In Belgium, for instance, environmental standards were raised too high for cement companies to remain financial viable. They relocated to Morocco, where they could operate with virtually no environmental regulations. Pollution did not lessen; it merely relocated to a new home, taking jobs along with it. Today the economies of China and India are expanding rapidly, and are not about to limit their commercial development by adopting punitive environmental measures.

Finally, even if HR 2454 goes according to plan, its impact on the global environment will be negligible at best. The United States accounts for 25% of global greenhouse gas emissions. The cap and trade bill aims to reduce our emissions by 15% over the next twenty years. Even if we accomplish this goal, it will result in a mere 4% reduction in global gas emissions.

I believe that there are more practical and cost effective ways to both protect the environment and to preserve American business interests. For this reason I have sponsored HR 1835, The New Alternative Transportation to Give Americans Solutions Act (NAT GAS Act). This bill offers tax incentives to encourage vehicles powered by natural gas, which run cleaner than gasoline and diesel powered engines and rely on a source of fuel abundantly found throughout the United States. Exchanging one traditionally fueled garbage truck with one fueled by natural gas is the environmental equivalent of taking 300 cars off the road.

America cannot mandate environmental reform to developing nations like China or India. If we are to make a real impact on global climate, it must be through innovation and not self-constraint. This can best be achieved by offering tax incentives to businesses, in order to develop green technology through the private sector rather than in spite of it.

The "Cap and Trade" bill is risky and ineffective, and I voted against it for those reasons. Please rest assured that I will continue working to provide viable alternatives to the economic and environmental challenges facing our country. I hope I can count on your support.

Respectfully Yours,

Dan Boren
Member of Congress

A Few Thoughts on The Short, Fast Career of Sarah Palin

Wowser, I was very shocked to see that Sarah Palin is leaving the post that she was elected to after only, what, 30 months. A few things hit me while watching her speech.

1) You are governor of Alaska, how do you with a straight face, say you can effect more change outside of government?

2) Did she just figure out people who hold elected office may end up as lame ducks?

3) What is it with these crazy speeches lately? First Sandford now this?

4) If she loves this country so much, couldn't she have let us focus on the 4th of July - she could have given her goofy speech on Monday as easily as Friday.

5) I would have felt more sorry for her and her family if she hadn't paraded them around all through the Presidental election... You can't attack others without being attacked yourself.

6) How long before we have an announcement for a book deal and tour.

Liberal is a good thing

An interesting advertisment I found in the Wathena Times, October 1947. A lot ot look at, but what caught my eye was "Liberal Trade-In Allowance."

That combined with some rather ridicoulous comments by a certain unnamed individual on the NPR boards has made me thing about the word liberal, and how often this is an attack or insult, and how silly this is as an attack.

• After all, would you rather your favorite store have a liberal return policy, or a conservative return policy?

• Many people get a liberal arts degree.

• Liberal and Liberty share the same root.

• We are supposed to apply some things liberally (shampoo or sunscreen for example)

• Wouldn't you rather have a boss liberal with bonuses.

• How about parent liberal with praise?

Recent Reads - Gang Leader for a Day

Gang Leader for a Day by Sudhir Venkatesh is a truly amazing, frightening read. Venkatesh spent almost ten years visiting Robert Taylor, a housing project encompassing 28 high rises, 16 stories tall, with more than 27,000 residents total. At times more than 95% of the residents were unemployed, and there were various turf wars for gang members.

The author chronicles his attempts to get a sense of how people lived in this home, how the gangs functioned (they were at a very high level of organization and business-sense because of the high concentration of people) how people were in finding ways survive; barter, scrambling for ways to earn extra income, stay safe, get things fixed when you didn't have the ability to pay bribes in order to get things fixed, etc.

The title actually applies to only part of the book, specifically the time that he spent with J.T. He examines the business and violence of gangs, disects the community benefits and well as the harm caused by the gang activity, as well as the amazing poverty of many of the lower level gang members - and the high level of obedience expected by gangs.

Other sections examine the hustlers, how people make money by repairing things, finding ways to steal electricity, fix cars, etc. in order to survive. It also examines the way many women work together, sharing baby-sitting, cooking, etc - often sharing several apartments since one may have hot water, another cable, a third heat, and a fourth a working stove.

It is hard not to question the author as his observations are so amazing, that said he shows us (he makes no conclusions himself) that all too often those in power cause harm by igoring the problems of the low-income people, then compounding the sin by ignoring what they have built when tearing it down. The demolishing of Robert Taylor removed any support system these people had.

A powerful and painful book to read, but an important one.

Others follow Blackwater's Lead

Blackwater recently changed it's name to Xe (pronounced Zee) in an effort at 'rebranding. You can read all about it in the article below, but I imagine that if Xe is successful, then we will see a veritable avalanche of name changes - er rebrands.

General Motors in the process renaming their company Wal-mart in hoping to turn their profit margin around, Chrysler, as always confused on the concept is looking at the names Woolworth, Montgomery Wards, and Venture.

The World Coal Institute has renamed Coal -  "Clean."  So now instead of Coal Powered Plants, they will be referred to as "Clean Powered Plants."

Roland Burris is supposedly considering the names Honest Abe Burris, Integrity Burris, and Morgan Freeman (without the Burris).

Citigroup is hoping to use the name Make a Wish Foundation (after all they are wishing for more capital) while A.I.G. is hoping to change it's name to the Unsinkable Molly Brown... though many of us would recommend the Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight

Newt Gingrich is looking into Ronald Reagan, or at least Knute Rockne, Tom Daschle is wondering if a name change will result in tax forgiveness, while a number of GOP office holders are wondering if they call their party the Democartes they can confuse some people into votes.

The final one, Bernard Madoff is changing his name to Pizza.  After all Everyone Loves Pizza!!!

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/government-inc/2009/02/behind_the_blackwater_name_cha.html

Stress Test

As Many of you know, Obama, Geithner and Co. are about to put the banks through a stress test, I really can't imagine how they are going to put the banks through a stress test, but here is an excerpt from my experience...


I recently went to the doctor for the euphemistically called stress test. The test is designed to give you a heart attack so doctors can decide how likely you are to have another heart attack. It would be more accurate to call it a stress adventure, something akin to scaling El Capitan or swimming the English Channel.
Since doctors originally developed the concept of over-booking (before licensing it to the airlines) I arrived for my 11am Thursday appointment on Monday morning, complete with reading material, back pack, sleeping bag, tent, iodine tablets, camp stove, and rations. Unfortunately a man much too old to still drive rolled right over my tent, camp stove, and portable game system when he misread the “Patient Drop-Off” sign, thinking it was “Patient Drive-Thru” so I was forced to really rough it.
On Friday afternoon they finally “prepped” me. The test requires 50 little electrical lines to be attached to sticky pads placed on your chest. The pads are designed to fall off if even one chest hair touches them, but will remain sealed to bare skin for up to two years. This means the prep for most men includes shaving big patches of hair off your chest.
They use really dull single use razors without any moisturizer or shaving cream. You have to wonder why Bic and Gillette spend fortunes developing new razors when there is a big market for single use, very dull, disposable razors. I imagine that somewhere in the world there is a factory dedicating to making these “ultra-dull” razors complete with a foreman shouting, “We’re not Shick! Keep those blades dull!”


After dry shaving large swaths of hair off me, the “prepper” (I, of course, was the “preppie”) found two young ladies to examine the end result. They laughed and giggled, and one mentioned something like “he looks like a dog with mange”.
Shirt off, chest hair removed, I was moved to a closet so cold that Iditarod sled dogs would stay in their tents. Cables were connected to each of the sticky pads, and it all went to a mess of electrical equipment making it impossible to escape. A technician gave me an Echo-cardiogram - sort of a pre-test - which basically means that you get lathered in really cold goo then jabbed in the ribs with a plastic rod. I was then left, without even chest hair to keep me warm.
Four hours later 10 people crammed into the room. All were dressed in Antarctic cold weather gear. The doctor told me -through his muffler - to get on the treadmill and start walking. I hadn’t noticed the treadmill before because I never expected to see a treadmill mounted on a wall.
The nurses helped me onto the treadmill, telling me “it’s okay to hold on to the rails.” Of course I’ll hold on to the railing, how else was I going to stay on this torture machine. They start it up, and there I am, death grip on the railing swinging my legs like crazy. After a couple of minutes one nurse takes my blood pressure, while another cranks up the speed.
For the next ten minutes you flail around as the treadmill keeps getting faster and faster while everyone laughs at you. Periodically the doctor asks, “How are you doing?”
You naturally reply, “Awful, You’re making me run straight up a wall.”
His response is usually “Great! They need to take your blood pressure, so you will have to let go of the ceiling tile. Then we will speed it up, okay?”
My response at this point is, “GAAAAaaa.”
After ten minutes of this, they let you down – put you back on a table, and rub you down with more cold gel so a technician can do another sonogram. What was the result of all this misery? A couple of really strange, fuzzy sonogram pictures of my heart. 20 feet or so of butcher paper with some little squiggles – imagine a three year old with a pencil and an unlimited supply of paper, multiple bald spots on my chest…. and an appointment to do it all over again in 6 months.

Recent Reads: Pyramid Scheme & Pyramid Power

First off, let me tell you these books have absolutely nothing to do with Bernie Madoff, finance in general, or just about anything else anchored in reality (though to be fair neither Madoff nor the investment banks were anchored in reality either.) Pyramid Scheme and the sequel Pyramid Power are jointly written by Eric Flint and Dave Freer.
Quick synopsis of the first book. Weird alien device shaped like a black 5 sided pyramid lands in the middle of the U. of Chicago campus and starts sucking up people who have a lot of gullibility or anger. Like the blob it grows with every snatch. It also grabs anyone in contact with the person it was trying to snatch. (This is where it gets weird and really, really funny.) Those that are snatched are thrown into the middle of the Greek myths -though a few get sidetracked into the Egyptian myth. The characters we follow are dropped on Odysseus ship in the middle of his trek home. A biologist, a not very bright policeman, a mythography professor, and two soldiers match wits with Odysseus, Circe, Medea, Arachne, and the pantheon of Olympus in a very funny twist.... sort of Connecticut Yankee in Zeus' court. This book is light, quick, funny and has it's own take on the Greek Myth - for example, why does Odysseus get to go down in history when he was one of the least successful leaders ever. To misquote, he lost 1100 men while spending 20 years travelling only 500 miles and having his men ignore nearly every order he gave. If you like myths and/or fantasy and/or clever writing this is a good book.
Pyramid Power revisits the pyramid with many of the same characters, only this time we are in the Norse myths. While dealings with Odin, and especially Loki and Thor are entertaining this book is a little too familiar. It is fun but doesn't quite capture the spirit of the first book. While fun it just doesn't flow as well as the first book.

Recent Reads: Charlatan and Shakespeare: World as Stage

I recently finished two books: Charlatan: America's Most Dangerous Huckster, the Man Who Caught him, and the age of Flimflam " by Pope Brock and "Shakespeare: The World as Stage" by Bill Bryson. Charlatan was an incredibly interesting book about John Brinkley, the most successful medical con man in the United States history and the editor of the then-fledgling American Medical Association Journal, Morris Fishbein.

Brinkley made millions, opening hospitals first in Milford, Ks. then in Del Rio, Texas to implant goat glands in men who have, well, let's just say goat gland implants were the 1930's version of Viagra. I could have done with less medical detail, but it was interesting to learn how Brinkley was actually the winner of the 1930 Kansas Gubernatorial race, but was cheated by collusion between the GOP and Demo's (both of whom later admitted it.) Brinkley, through his botched surgeries and the selling of colored water as various prescription formulas deserves to be thought of as a mass murderer, but he was also the forerunner of radio advertising - building a radio station in Milford, then when it was closed down by the FCC he opened one across the Mexican border from Del Rio. His station was eventually 1 million watts and could be heard across the country, blotting out local stations. Between ads for his hospital and his 'prescriptions' he introduced country and bluegrass to the U.S. - most people heard the Carter family for the first time on XERA, his Del Rio station.

Bill Bryson's Shakespeare book, like all of his books, is both an absolute hoot and a really interesting biography. Bryson gives us great imagery of England and especially London during the time of Shakespeare. He also gives an overview of some of the detailed research and studies on Shakespeare, and attacks the supposed 'other writer' theories with relish - laying out then tearing down one after the other, demonstrating the conjecture is not based on anything factual - one of my favorite points in the book is when he looks into the claim that "there is no evidence that Shakespeare ever owned a book." After acknowledging that this is true, he reflects on the other evidence and shows that we also have no proof that Shakespeare ever owned shoes or pants - yet we assume he did not spend his entire life naked from the waist down.
Anyone who loves Bryson's books, Shakespeare's plays or sonnets, or just the Elizabethan and Jacobean ages will enjoy this book.

Twittering and Twitching through Taxes

Firing up the software, I have coffee and all my paperwork in front of me.
9:32 pm

Still updating, going to grab another cup of coffee.
9:47 pm


Whohoo green I scored a refund.
9:59 pm

Red, I pay. bummer.
10:04 pm

Green Yea!
10:05 pm


Red again, dang it.
10:06 pm


Still red.
10:10pm

Still red, better check the income boxes, must have typed something in wrong.
10:13pm


Great, fixed an error and now it is redder.
10:19pm


Coffee isn't doing it - I am getting a beer from the secret beer fridge (don't tell anyone about it).
10:20pm


Umm beer.
10:25pm


Checking numbers again - still red.
10:29 pm


Still red.
10:35 pm

Change income to $10 just to watch it turn green.
10:38 pm

Decided I will lose some liberties if I keep it at $10, correct income - yup red again.
10:44 pm

Time to start on deductions - I need another beer.
10:54 pm

Umm beer. Deductions here I come.
11:01 pm

Why is it still red?
11:05 pm

Why can't I deduct that? I need something stiffer than beer.
11:08 pm

Umm Scotch.
11:15 pm

Why can't I claim the cats as dependents? They can't even fill their water bowl or food.
11:19 pm

Boy this Scotch is smoother than I thought, better pour another glass.
11:24 pm

I know I paid more interest than that. I am calling Chase!
11:28 pm

Nice music, boy how did this bottle of scotch get sooo llooow so qucily
11:31 pm

Hung up phone. Wonder if liquor can be considered a tax preparation expense?
11:34 pm

Bottle empty. Box still red. Life Sucks! (Cat watches me cry)
11:58 pm

It's all good - so what if I have to pay taxes, people starving in Africa don't even have turbotax.
(Glad I found more booze though)
12:05 am

Stoopid compoter all blurrry. Grate I gottsta get me new monitor to finith my taxees.
12:28 am

Gonna go to bed, will finish in the morning, these taxes have given me quite a little headache. 12:48 am

Why is the house spinning! It must be a tornado!!! I must remember to stay away from flying monkeys!

12.55 pm

Tornado passed but I am gonna crawl to bed. Just to be safe.

1:01 am

What do you mean I didn't hit save!!!!!!!!!
9:30am

Just Finished Reading "Why We're Liberals"

I just finished reading Why We're Liberals: A Political Handbook for Post-Bush America by Eric Alterman. An interesting book, and at moments truly enlightening. Part I tries, with limited success to try to define liberalism. It sets up the historically honorable liberal (everyone used to praise liberalism it seems) and the present ability of conservatives to define liberals however they want.

Part II, is titled Why they (liberals) Hate America - but it would have been more effectively titled "I know you are but what am I." This section, which is both more interesting and entertaining provides various claims made by conservatives about liberals (Liberals are love to tax, liberals hate religion, my favorite - liberals are so nasty) and disputes them with exhausting examples of how conservatives are even worse than liberals (hence I know you are but what am I). Alterman does a great job of proving that conservatives are worse at almost everything they accuse the liberals of being, and the exhaustive examples are both amusing and helpful, but that seems to be the value of the book.

We few, we happy few...

We band of brothers... okay Henry V has nothing to do with my work, but few was right at work today. After being blanketed by rain, sleet, then some 5 inches of ice pellets, the town was shut down. Went to work this morning, instead of 50+ coworkers, I had ...9.

Observations:

Watched someone get stuck, while trying to pull a truck off the ice...

Was told by someone (after I mentioned we were sold out of generators) "boy you don't plan very well" bit my tongue rather than replying"neither do you"

It was interesting that the ability to get to work was inversely proportional to the distance travelled. Had people from 30+ miles away make it in and those 3 miles away call in.

People have really interesting priorities... a woman carrying a $400+ purse (I get dragged around shopping a lot) and $100+ jeans complaining that the $239 ventless heater was too much...

Much has been made of the letter left by the outgoing President for the incoming President. Through a lot of subterfuge I have obtained a copy of the letter written by George W Bush to Barack Obama

Dear Sir/President,
I'm the former leader of the worlds largest country. I have been removed from office but have access to funds that are tied to certain "contracts." Unfortunately I must demonstrate I possesses of an savings account with $1 million dollars American to access these contracts which are worth more than $30 million dollars American.If you would provide to me the initial $1 million I will split with you the $30 million dollars 50/50. It will take around one week for me to access the funds then I will send you your $12 million dollars American.I am presently residing in the city of Dallas in the country of Texas and hope to hear from you soon.
Yours Truly,
Former PresidentGeorge W (puddinhead) Bush

Sea Kittens!???! What are sea kittens?

A bit of background: there is a piece on NPR about PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). It talks about their new program to save the sea kittens. Sea kitten is the new terminology for fish and the site allows you to dress up fish and hopes that you will think fish are cuter by calling them kittens, so you will eat less fish. Well the story has exploded - with more than 700 comments and counting. Read the story and see the comments here. This is my contribution to the comments (with two very small edits)

I tried to cuddle my Sea Kitten
I put him in my bed,
I wrapped him up in covers,
a pillow for his head.

But suddenly an interruption
all whiskers, tooth and claws.
A sneaky, mean, old land fish
took sweet sea kitten in her mean old jaws.

She ran and hid with sea kitten
as I chased and yelled and cried
But I knew at once that dear sweet sea kitten
had done left me. He had died.

I have many memories
of our playful time together.
Our bicycle rides, our scrabble games
Drinking cocoa in bad weather.

I miss my little sea kitten
his flippers and his tail
I have nothing to remember my sea kitten by
but this one small fish scale.

Christmas Past - 2004

Well another year has flown by. It’s raining and 45 degrees here on the second to last day of November and we’re hoping for a few nice days so we can hang the boxes of Christmas lights. We also need to plant a few bags of tulip bulbs very soon. With a very warm October and rainy November everything is falling behind.
Interestingly enough, we planted around 100 tulip bulbs last year but had no blooms. I didn’t know that we had a mole problem until February, when I walked through the beds and noticed all of the pock marks. After consuming nearly all of the bulbs, the moles got real uppity. We had 3 break ground, but not one bloom. Fortunately they left as soon as the tulips were gone, moles with very specific taste buds I guess. So this year we have to not only plant tulips, but also plant mole peanuts, and spray the yard with a mix that contains a lot of castor oil and sesame oil. From what everyone tells me, moles react the same way that people do when faced with castor oil - I’m not sure what the sesame oil is for, maybe they don’t like Chinese cooking.
This year was much much more normal than last year. No major surgeries, no minor surgeries. I did have 3 days in ICU and Phyllis had a 6 ½ month headache (yes one headache can last that long - and NO that headache was not named Darren, thank you!). An interesting little side note: if your stomach hurts you take a pill for your stomach, if you have congestion, you take a decongestant. If you have a headache, you don’t take something for your head, you take something for your headache? Seems like you would want to take something against your headache. This created some Marx Brothers moments “Is your headache worse?” “Yes” “That’s Good” (This is when I was hit by a shoe) “Well you don’t want your headache to get even better do you?” (the other shoe strikes me)…. The same is true with cough medicine. Cough syrups, cough drops, they don’t cause coughs…. Should be against cough drops I guess.
Anyway this year was a piece of cake after last year. No moving, no rogue deer attacking our car (oh and we are still getting 48-50 mpg with the hybrid). Phyllis is still in college, still upset when her ‘A’ isn’t a high enough ’A’, And really upset if she gets a ‘B’ which hasn’t happened often. After the winter semester she will be more than half way to her math education degree and we hope she can go to school full time in the fall of 2005.
Memorial Day Weekend we went down to Texas for the high school graduation of Troy and his stepsister Taige. I felt bad that we didn’t bring air horns to honk as did the friends and family of the other twelve thousand two hundred-fifty-eight graduates. (Okay so that’s an exaggeration but it was a big graduating class). Many thanks to Terry and Cheryl for the warm welcome and wonderful food that weekend. Two more years and it will be Tara’s graduation so there’s time to find an air horn - or maybe even a flashing light and siren!
Among the other experiences was playing DDR (that’s Dance-Dance-Revolution to the uninitiated) a dancing Playstation game. It’s sort of a noisy too-fast exhausting musical version of twister. Much more fun to watch than attempt - DDR is more of a workout than a cardiologist’s stress test.

We had quite a shindig this year for Fourth of July. Every year the church that is down the street has a big celebration, and about 10,000 people come to the pony rides, movies, music and fireworks extravaganza. Quite a turnout since there are only 40,000 in the city, and 100,000 in the county. (The turnout is bigger than the official Muskogee fireworks display which they moved to July 3rd because they couldn’t compete). We were fortunate to have Bobby & Lisa & Ethan & Logan, Donna, Jimmy, Brittany, Brooklyn, Sue, James and Sonja down for the Fourth. The fireworks started late, as usual -several neighbors entertained us by trying to burn each other’s houses down before the big show started - but well worth the wait. Once everything wound down, we discovered that our house can sleep 10 without much difficulty. We also found out that Ethan & I are the only voluntary early risers of the bunch. We had morning coffee -well I had morning coffee while he tried to eat every sweet in the house and go swimming again in the blowup pool.
In October, I decided to change out the light fixture in the bathroom (it only spent a year in the garage after we bought it). You would think that the all of the problems involved would be electrical - but no. First I took the old light off to find the sheet rock behind the fixture a loss (every time I tried to drive an anchor into the wall, it fell through). So as soon as Phyllis got home from work, we ran up to Lowes to buy a different light fixture, with a base that was broad enough to span the hole I made by repeatedly trying to put anchors in the sheet rock.
So we pick out the new light and it goes up piece of cake - then - I drop a battery down the sink. Skip to Sunday when I decide to get the battery out of the ‘P’ trap in the sink - 5 trips to Lowes later the sink is still out. It seems the former owners decided that they would use PVC cement on every piece of pipe under the sink. Also rather than use a straight piece of pipe, they used about 8 different fittings so that we had to cut everything out from the wall to the sink. And if that wasn’t enough, I managed to mess up the shut off valve for the cold water, and we had to cut it out and replace that as well. So we ended up spending twice as much in plumbing supplies as we did on the light fixture.
We apologize for being late with the Christmas Letter. In our ongoing attempt to confound the medical profession Phyllis contracted a non-contagious strain -No one has explained how you catch a non-contagious strain of anything yet - anyway Phyllis caught Whooping Cough. This threw our Christmas set-up plans for a loop and we didn’t finish the letter, or get the lights up. I did manage to get the bulbs in the ground so we will either have fat moles or tulips come April. Unfortunately you won’t be able to read about our 102 trick-or-treaters (who came on October 30, not Halloween we didn’t have any trick-or-treaters on Halloween), or the other adventures in landscaping we had when ripping some bushes out of the yard, or our inflatable decorations crazy neighbors who have 100+ inflatable and we featured on ’Out of Control Christmas’ on HGTV.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Darren & Phyllis
Christmas 2004