Much has been made of the letter left by the outgoing President for the incoming President. Through a lot of subterfuge I have obtained a copy of the letter written by George W Bush to Barack Obama

Dear Sir/President,
I'm the former leader of the worlds largest country. I have been removed from office but have access to funds that are tied to certain "contracts." Unfortunately I must demonstrate I possesses of an savings account with $1 million dollars American to access these contracts which are worth more than $30 million dollars American.If you would provide to me the initial $1 million I will split with you the $30 million dollars 50/50. It will take around one week for me to access the funds then I will send you your $12 million dollars American.I am presently residing in the city of Dallas in the country of Texas and hope to hear from you soon.
Yours Truly,
Former PresidentGeorge W (puddinhead) Bush

Sea Kittens!???! What are sea kittens?

A bit of background: there is a piece on NPR about PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). It talks about their new program to save the sea kittens. Sea kitten is the new terminology for fish and the site allows you to dress up fish and hopes that you will think fish are cuter by calling them kittens, so you will eat less fish. Well the story has exploded - with more than 700 comments and counting. Read the story and see the comments here. This is my contribution to the comments (with two very small edits)

I tried to cuddle my Sea Kitten
I put him in my bed,
I wrapped him up in covers,
a pillow for his head.

But suddenly an interruption
all whiskers, tooth and claws.
A sneaky, mean, old land fish
took sweet sea kitten in her mean old jaws.

She ran and hid with sea kitten
as I chased and yelled and cried
But I knew at once that dear sweet sea kitten
had done left me. He had died.

I have many memories
of our playful time together.
Our bicycle rides, our scrabble games
Drinking cocoa in bad weather.

I miss my little sea kitten
his flippers and his tail
I have nothing to remember my sea kitten by
but this one small fish scale.

Christmas Past - 2004

Well another year has flown by. It’s raining and 45 degrees here on the second to last day of November and we’re hoping for a few nice days so we can hang the boxes of Christmas lights. We also need to plant a few bags of tulip bulbs very soon. With a very warm October and rainy November everything is falling behind.
Interestingly enough, we planted around 100 tulip bulbs last year but had no blooms. I didn’t know that we had a mole problem until February, when I walked through the beds and noticed all of the pock marks. After consuming nearly all of the bulbs, the moles got real uppity. We had 3 break ground, but not one bloom. Fortunately they left as soon as the tulips were gone, moles with very specific taste buds I guess. So this year we have to not only plant tulips, but also plant mole peanuts, and spray the yard with a mix that contains a lot of castor oil and sesame oil. From what everyone tells me, moles react the same way that people do when faced with castor oil - I’m not sure what the sesame oil is for, maybe they don’t like Chinese cooking.
This year was much much more normal than last year. No major surgeries, no minor surgeries. I did have 3 days in ICU and Phyllis had a 6 ½ month headache (yes one headache can last that long - and NO that headache was not named Darren, thank you!). An interesting little side note: if your stomach hurts you take a pill for your stomach, if you have congestion, you take a decongestant. If you have a headache, you don’t take something for your head, you take something for your headache? Seems like you would want to take something against your headache. This created some Marx Brothers moments “Is your headache worse?” “Yes” “That’s Good” (This is when I was hit by a shoe) “Well you don’t want your headache to get even better do you?” (the other shoe strikes me)…. The same is true with cough medicine. Cough syrups, cough drops, they don’t cause coughs…. Should be against cough drops I guess.
Anyway this year was a piece of cake after last year. No moving, no rogue deer attacking our car (oh and we are still getting 48-50 mpg with the hybrid). Phyllis is still in college, still upset when her ‘A’ isn’t a high enough ’A’, And really upset if she gets a ‘B’ which hasn’t happened often. After the winter semester she will be more than half way to her math education degree and we hope she can go to school full time in the fall of 2005.
Memorial Day Weekend we went down to Texas for the high school graduation of Troy and his stepsister Taige. I felt bad that we didn’t bring air horns to honk as did the friends and family of the other twelve thousand two hundred-fifty-eight graduates. (Okay so that’s an exaggeration but it was a big graduating class). Many thanks to Terry and Cheryl for the warm welcome and wonderful food that weekend. Two more years and it will be Tara’s graduation so there’s time to find an air horn - or maybe even a flashing light and siren!
Among the other experiences was playing DDR (that’s Dance-Dance-Revolution to the uninitiated) a dancing Playstation game. It’s sort of a noisy too-fast exhausting musical version of twister. Much more fun to watch than attempt - DDR is more of a workout than a cardiologist’s stress test.

We had quite a shindig this year for Fourth of July. Every year the church that is down the street has a big celebration, and about 10,000 people come to the pony rides, movies, music and fireworks extravaganza. Quite a turnout since there are only 40,000 in the city, and 100,000 in the county. (The turnout is bigger than the official Muskogee fireworks display which they moved to July 3rd because they couldn’t compete). We were fortunate to have Bobby & Lisa & Ethan & Logan, Donna, Jimmy, Brittany, Brooklyn, Sue, James and Sonja down for the Fourth. The fireworks started late, as usual -several neighbors entertained us by trying to burn each other’s houses down before the big show started - but well worth the wait. Once everything wound down, we discovered that our house can sleep 10 without much difficulty. We also found out that Ethan & I are the only voluntary early risers of the bunch. We had morning coffee -well I had morning coffee while he tried to eat every sweet in the house and go swimming again in the blowup pool.
In October, I decided to change out the light fixture in the bathroom (it only spent a year in the garage after we bought it). You would think that the all of the problems involved would be electrical - but no. First I took the old light off to find the sheet rock behind the fixture a loss (every time I tried to drive an anchor into the wall, it fell through). So as soon as Phyllis got home from work, we ran up to Lowes to buy a different light fixture, with a base that was broad enough to span the hole I made by repeatedly trying to put anchors in the sheet rock.
So we pick out the new light and it goes up piece of cake - then - I drop a battery down the sink. Skip to Sunday when I decide to get the battery out of the ‘P’ trap in the sink - 5 trips to Lowes later the sink is still out. It seems the former owners decided that they would use PVC cement on every piece of pipe under the sink. Also rather than use a straight piece of pipe, they used about 8 different fittings so that we had to cut everything out from the wall to the sink. And if that wasn’t enough, I managed to mess up the shut off valve for the cold water, and we had to cut it out and replace that as well. So we ended up spending twice as much in plumbing supplies as we did on the light fixture.
We apologize for being late with the Christmas Letter. In our ongoing attempt to confound the medical profession Phyllis contracted a non-contagious strain -No one has explained how you catch a non-contagious strain of anything yet - anyway Phyllis caught Whooping Cough. This threw our Christmas set-up plans for a loop and we didn’t finish the letter, or get the lights up. I did manage to get the bulbs in the ground so we will either have fat moles or tulips come April. Unfortunately you won’t be able to read about our 102 trick-or-treaters (who came on October 30, not Halloween we didn’t have any trick-or-treaters on Halloween), or the other adventures in landscaping we had when ripping some bushes out of the yard, or our inflatable decorations crazy neighbors who have 100+ inflatable and we featured on ’Out of Control Christmas’ on HGTV.
Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
Darren & Phyllis
Christmas 2004

Christmas Past - 2005

Welcome to Christmas Letter 2005
Yes Chicken Little, the Sky Really Is Falling

Greetings and Happy Holidays! It's the end of November here in Muskogee Oklahoma. It's a chilly 65 degrees (!?) and I am in our office looking out the window at one neighbor mowing their lawn while the people across the field from our backyard set up more and more 10' tall blow-ups.
First I guess I should explain the title, we need to go back to Labor Day, 2005 - forever to be known as the day Darren broke the house (no breaking a leg or a lamp isn't enough for me). Started out like any normal day, Phyllis and I picked out a new ceiling fan for our bedroom and we were installing it. Unfortunately the bracket that supported the old ceiling fan wasn't doing its job so the fan hung at quite an angle.
We couldn't take the bracket down from below so I had to go up in the attic take the old bracket down. Well I am up on the studs prying the bracket off since the adjustment screw wouldn't work either and....can you guess what happens next......
But more about that later in the letter, back to November and December. We are now decorated for Christmas with lights on the outside (care of me). On the inside, Phyllis has Christmas in every room, including (but not limited to) 3 large Christmas trees, 3 miniature trees - one in a bathroom. Other than the closets and the garage our house is Christmas central.
We had Thanksgiving at our house for the first time, 21 people total, including our new niece Ashlyn Eldridge (at 6 weeks old she didn't do much dining). We had turkey, ham, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, Oreo cookie pie, coconut cream pie, apple pie, French silk pie chocolate cake, many different cookies, candies, chocolates, mashed potatoes, chicken & dumplings, stuffing, macaroni and cheese, macaroni salad and a wonderful time was had by all.
112 trick-or-treaters came to our door this Halloween, not bad for a cold, rainy Monday (I don't know why Halloween had to be the colder than any other day before Thanksgiving). Phyllis is still plugging away at her math education degree. At this point a lot of her homework looks and sounds more like Greek (literally) than any math I remember. She no longer works at Muskogee High School since her required classes are now offered during the day. She is substitute teaching a couple days a week at the Hilldale school district.
She has also gotten a little club crazy, and is a member of the French Club, Student Educators Club, NSU Harry Potter Club, and Math Club (I think there may be a few others as well). She will be a junior at the end of spring 2006.

I guess it is time to finish our little ceiling story, where were we - oh yes, I was up in the attic removing the bent ceiling fan bracket and Phyllis was on the ladder after handing me the hammer so I could pry the bracket off when... BOOM... we have direct access from our bedroom to the attic - a nice big 4'x4' opening. I am not certain what was the funniest moment: me laying on my back trying to figure out where I was, Phyllis (who was struck by the ceiling as I came bouncing down) worried not about her injuries, or mine, but only about the fact that she would track insulation into the rest of the house if she left the room. It might have been when we looked back up in the hole to see light and thought the ceiling was on fire - it was just the flashlight that managed to stay in the attic. It may have been my strangely calm phone call to Alice & Jerry "Oh by the way I fell through the ceiling."
Alice & Jerry came to the rescue, helped us clean up the pile of insulation that was everywhere, found us a contractor who could do the repair, and Jerry patched the gaping hole in the ceiling. We can't thank the two of you enough for your help. Without you, we would likely still be alternately staring up into the hole and looking at each other,
"What do you think we should do?"
"I don't know, what do you think we should do"
"Whatever you think is best"
"No it's your call."
The room is finally completed with flat ceiling - no more popcorn texture -and crown moulding. Phyllis has even been dropping hints that I need to 'climb into the attic' and change another fixture or two, I think she wants new ceilings throughout the house.

For the first time since 2002, we have had no overnight hospital stays - though we did have three scheduled outpatients between the two of us. Still this is much better than our previous years. I guess that would explain why the local hospital announced that it was encouraging some 40 employees to take early retirement.
What else has happened... as many of you know every fall we plant a hundred or so tulip bulbs and every spring we watch them sprout then disappear as the moles dine at Chez Magady. Well this year we kept about 40 of our tulips, after all of the castor oil tricks, various chemicals, peanuts and combinations what defeated the moles? Two 99 cent pinwheels stuck in the ground scared the moles away. I don't know if it was the vibrations caused by the spinning wheel (some people's scientific theory) or the moles just thought they were aggressive attack plants, or they laughed themselves to death but the pinwheels worked. Next year we may skip the tulips and just plant pin wheels.
I hope all of have a wonderful and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

Christmas Letters Past - 2006

Christmas 2006

It is time to hang the lights again. For the first time, it was actually warm as I hung Christmas lights. Initially, this seemed like quite a bonus; no stiff, frozen fingers, no wintry breezes, just outside getting some vitamin D while climbing on ladders and the roof. Unfortunately warm weather means the bugs are still out. The minor event was when I stumbled across an occupied wasp nest. There were several of the pesky critters, and even though Phyllis had charitably allowed them to live rent free they were not all that friendly.
After much whooping, waving of arms and a liberal spraying of Wasp-Be-Gone, the wasps and I came to an understanding. Ironically that wasn’t even the first insect incident of the day since I earlier met up with the king of spiders. (Okay, a spider isn’t really an insect but how could I pass up “insect incident?”) How big was the spider? Well, if you are of a certain generation you will remember the ants in an old movie called Them. If you are a Harry Potter fan, think Aragog. If neither of these help, imagine the biggest dog you have ever seen, then imagine a spider big enough to eat that dog.
Phyllis and I recently received a very nice Christmas card from former President Jimmy and Rosalyn Carter. Now I can honestly say I don’t remember the last time we heard from the Carters, but the letter they wrote was very touching (not as humorous as my Christmas letters, but we each have our specific talents).
The Carters talked a lot about some of the recent accomplishments of the Carter Center – working to defeat guinea worm and river blindness in Africa, as well as AIDS prevention in Third World countries.
While reading the letter I realized that many of you probably don’t know about our foundation: The Magady Center for Home Improvement and Technology Studies (M-FITS for short). Not having the soap box of the Carters (and being 100% privately underwritten) our foundation has a much narrower focus. For example, we are in the midst of a 3 year examination of replacement windows. Each year we replace a window then research the difference in temperature and utilities between the old window and new window. We hope to complete our study by 2009.
We are also in the middle of a 5 year study of the Toyota Prius. Our research is examining fuel economy with a specific focus on whether men or women are more successful at achieving higher better miles-per-gallon scores. Unfortunately conclusions based on the preliminary data are in dispute. Our female analyst claims that the data proves women our much more efficient drivers. The male analyst feels the data is too incomplete to make any conclusions. I (I mean the male analyst) also feel that the female analyst is using her superior math education to skew the data by creative rounding. Though the male analyst cannot prove it, but he suspects that the female analyst may be inserting something called “imaginary numbers” into the male driver’s data.
Phyllis is interested in a program on food preparation: specifically she has collected an enormous amount of data on food prep times in a ‘dated’ kitchen. She hopes to compare this data to prep times in a ‘remodeled’ kitchen and prove that the time required to prepare dinner is directly related to the age of the kitchen (newer kitchen – less cooking time).
I hope to soon produce a study of gaming systems. Many of you know that Sony, Nintendo, and Microsoft have recently released new game systems. Reviewers have examined the plusses and minuses of each system from a “playability” or “fun” perspective. I hope to examine each of the game systems from a caloric standpoint. Does one game system help you burn calories more efficiently than the others? Does one game system increase stress, while another is a stress release?
These are questions that need to be answered, problems that need to be studied, so Phyllis and I are addressing them.
*
I am happy to say we have had a pretty smooth year on the remodeling front. No disastrous ceiling fans, no big plumbing mishaps. We have new guttering and have removed the peculiar little half-wall in front.
A few things to keep in mind if you plan to do your own brick wall demolition: 1) Brick is really really heavy, especially when you are tearing stuff down then tossing it in your pickup. 2) The weight of brick is not constant – I did several studies and the sections of wall that weighed 10-15 lbs while laying in the yard were upwards of 425lbs by the time you carry them 20 feet to the pickup. 3) If your pickup is full of brick, your gas mileage will suffer. 4) If you take 1500 lbs of broken brick to the dump after it has rained, the dump will be very muddy. 5) Not only does this mean you will get muddy, but also that you will get stuck after you lighten your pickup by dumping the bricks. You then have two choices: put bricks back in your truck to add weight or convince the guy in the bulldozer – the one laughing at you– to pull you out.
Phyllis was tested for allergies this year. After some 160 sticks (Phyllis was a very very brave little girl) we discovered that Phyllis is, well, allergic to the outdoors. Her biggest reaction was to something called Russian thistle. We thought this would be okay as we weren’t planning any trips to Russia in the near future. Unfortunately we discovered that Russian thistle is one of the most common weeds in Oklahoma. Pretty much anything else that is outside– including our grass (Bermuda) and the tree in our front yard (Sycamore) – produced an allergic reaction.
We have much to be thankful for this year. We saw Tara’s graduation this summer, where Terry & Cheryl again welcomed us to their home for the graduation celebrations. Earlier we had the opportunity to see my father inducted into the Lee’s Summit High School Hall of Fame. We had another great 4th of July family picnic with Sue & James, Donna & the kids, Bobby & Lisa and the Kids, plus Nola and Manne. Phyllis and I went to War Eagle for the arts and crafts fairs with Manne & Nola. A great little mini-trip even though the weather people had us completely upside-down (the rain that they promised wouldn’t occur on Saturday came in torrents.)
We are going to have a new family member very soon. Kent and Nicole are expecting, and we hope to have another little girl in the family the last week of December. We are also very thankful that Mom’s chemotherapy treatment is going very well and she has had few side effects.
In June, Manne & Nola also saw “The Lion King” musical with us. If you haven’t seen it and ever ever ever get a chance – see the show. The staging and costumes were amazing!
(Personal Disclosure: I am not and have not been involved with Disney, and am not being paid for this promotion. If you happen to be involved with Disney, Time Warner, CBS, ESPN, The New Yorker, Sony, Microsoft, Apple, AT&T, Samsung, and would like to purchase a product placement or an endorsement for future Christmas letters, please contact us. If your company is not in the above list, please send us an email describing your company and product and we will consider it.)
We’ve said more than our share of goodbyes this year. I don’t think I realized how much tragedy reached our extended circle until we started working through our Christmas letter list. As many of you know, Lorraine and Linda Magady both passed away this fall. There is so much to learn from both their examples; caring for others, kindness, the need to take every moment and enjoy it, a willingness, even desire to care for others. Linda and Lorraine were not the only losses this year, many other spouses, parents, grandparents passed away. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you this difficult holiday season.
School seems to be going well for Phyllis. I say seems because most of the time, I have no idea what she is studying - “ the vector of the cosine of the gibberish, times the square root of the gizmo, stir in two imaginary numbers and bake for 45 minutes at 270 degrees.” Is an example of what I hear when she is studying. She also developed a couple of websites in one class. (http://arapaho.nsuok.edu/%7Emagady/) was her personal web page. She also developed a web-based math lesson.
Sorry for the lateness of the Christmas Letter, it seems the earlier I start the later I finish.
Wishing You the Best this Holiday Season
Merry Christmas
Darren & Phyllis

Christmas Letters Past - 2007

We wrote this poem because there just wasn’t very much drama this year. Please read out loud (preferably to someone else) with many hand gestures. The extra hamming it up improves the poem.

I’m afraid things were somewhat boring this year.
The sky has not fallen, no gall bladder grew back
Our health has been strong,
And this year we’ve suffered not a single deer attack.

I still work at Lowes, peddling appliances
While Phyllis still schools; Calc. II, Reading, and the Social Sciences.
On many Sundays I play in a wind quintet
While Phyllis studies, and cooks, and studies, and crafts, and studies…
and plays with our pets.

Phyllis is now an Alpha, a Rho and a Zeta
an Omega, a Mu and even a Theta.
So many societies joined, pins and braids amassed
At graduation General Phyllis she’ll be called
Receiving salutes when the ROTC walks past.

Our seasons were somewhat flipped this year
With an autumn arriving in early Jan,
When a new niece with bright red hair did appear
Autumn Faith Galley, the third little Galley
In Nicole and Kent’s clan.

Though things were somewhat pedestrian this year
Phyllis and I suffered a number of broken limbs,
But not of ourselves, just of our trees
When the January downpour began to freeze.

While others were without power for days, even weeks
Only one day without did Phyllis endure
I say Phyllis alone,
Since I was warm at work, not cold at home.





Though limbs cracked and broke we kept our unusual luck
For none struck house nor car nor truck.
Lucky we were though it took 12 loads or more
to remove all the debris from our old Sycamore.

Tess left us this year
Always we were her pets, She
The caring owner.

We now have a new cat, Izzy,
Isabella on a rare occasion.
She keeps Snickerdoodle great company
And has a better sense of her cat station.

Though things weren’t particularly exciting this year
A party was thrown, a fortieth anniv. party for Nola and Manne
Plotted and planned by Phyllis and Nicole and me
With an assist by Annalee… Who
Told us that wedding cake and punch was just not enough
Favors for the kids were required for the party to be up to snuff.

We surprised Manne and Nola and were surprised ourselves
For from fifty, 100, even 2000 miles away friends arrived.
Cake was eaten punch drunk and the party thrived.
Some people renewed acquaintances after many years
A day full of smiles, laughs, hugs and tears.

Earlier this year another anniversary party we did attend
To honor George and Dody, their 25 years as one.
On a beautiful Spring Sunday, blue skies, white clouds and sun.

This fall two more loved ones passed away
Phyllis’ Grandma Altom and Uncle Johnny
They will be missed.

Thanksgiving we dined at James and Sue’s,
Eating turkey and ham, pies and cookies and candies and cakes,
Dumplings and dressing and devilled eggs and oooh
did we relish our overfilled belly aches.


Phyllis finals are finished,
Our shopping (near) done,
We wish you a happy, healthy, merry, Christmas,
and a new year of fun.


Darren and Phyllis Magady

Phyllis' Donation

In this tough economy, it is a great time to remind people that you can make a donation that costs no money, just a little energy and time - and can save five people. You can donate blood.

Phyllis donated for the first time last week -I have given whenever I have been healthy enough for years but Phyllis has a good-sized needle phobia. This makes her donation all the more impressive - think about your personal phobia, closed spaces, spiders, snakes, mice... imagine locking yourself in a tiny room for 20 minutes or so (or holding a spider in your hand while not moving) just to make a donation.

She made it through with flying colors (even though it did nothing for her phobia) and is planning if schedules permit to donate again in another 8 weeks.